Volume 24　子育てって大変？


Different Styles of Child-rearing

Michael Rhys: And now we're gonna be talking about something which is of very personal interest to the both of us, I think, and that's, uh, child-rearing.

Ann Slater: That's right. Child-rearing, parenting . . .

Michael: Parenting. 

Ann: . . . styles. Uh, the differences, you know, of course in British style and American style and Japanese style, you know, it's quite different. And, we ourselves have firsthand experience of that, being parents ourselves. Uh, but what are some of the things that you've noticed that are different? Or similar? 

Michael: I don't know if there's that much difference between America and the U.K. when it comes to child-rearing . . .

Ann: Mm.

Michael: But we do see differences certainly within Japan . . .

Ann: Yeah.

Michael: . . . I think. 

Ann: Yeah. Here's one, the other day I saw. So I was thinking about this, 'cause I knew we were gonna be talking about it today. And, I was out and, uh, there was a Japanese mom, and her son was having a tantrum, as they do, right? And, um, he's about 4 years old, and he's kicking and screaming. He goes, "Mama, dai kirai!" Right? And she says "Oh," you know, "Mama kanashii," she goes, "Kanashii wa." 
 And I thought, "Oh, that's really interesting," 'cause an American mother would not say, "I feel sad." American mother would say, "Go to your room," right? Ha-ha. Or, "You're not gonna play with your friend tomorrow," right? "'Cause of your bad behavior." 
 It's not about how the mother feels, right? It's about showing the child they cannot act that way, right? And saying, "OK, and here are the consequences," right, "for your behavior." 
 And so there's some kind of punishment, or some kind of consequence that, and sometimes it's something we call, I don't know if you have this in Britain - a timeout? Ha, and this is very, very common. It was not when I was younger, but now it is. And timeout means you have, like a time where you have to go sit over there. You know, you have to sit over there in the corner. And actually, in the current sort of, uh, ideas about child-raising it is not punishment. It's not considered punishment. It's considered, like, a cool-down, right? 

Michael: Uh, th-that is . . .

Ann: Yeah, um-hmm.

Michael: ... an idea which, I think, has actually, been adopted in the U.K. and, originating really in the States.

Ann: Oh, uh-huh.

Michael: And it's something now that . . .

Ann: Yeah.

Michael: . . . you're seeing much more in the U.K., is this idea of a particular place that the child goes to. It's a seat or something that's, that is the timeout place.

Ann: Yeah.